How can parents connect when the kids are pulling them in 1,000 different directions each day? Balance your children and married life to benefit your whole family. With a little extra effort, you can reconnect with your spouse and make your bond even stronger.
Date night is an easy way for parents to connect. And you loved date night before you were married so there’s no reason you should have to pack away your date night shoes simply because you have kids now.
But spending an afternoon or evening together doesn’t have to be expensive.
Try one of many cheap date ideas to keep your family budget in check. After all, it’s not about the places you go, it’s about the company you keep.
Are you texting away your best material? Today’s technology lets us communicate instantly with everyone. That often means you’re texting most of the things you could have talked to your spouse about face to face over the dinner table.
Put away the gadgets, hide the remote controls and turn off the computers. Simply talk to each other at least once during the day. Even if you only have time to talk before you turn out the lights at the end of the evening, always take the time to talk to each other about your days, plans for tomorrow and what you could do together over the weekend.
Send a Text
Texting isn’t all that bad so don’t rule it out completely. It’s a great way to say hi and touch base to see how each other’s day is going. Just don’t use it as your primary means of communication.
In other words, if you two are in separate rooms at the end of the day because you’re both out of things to talk about since you texted all day, you’re letting your phone rule your relationship.
Use your texts as a quick way to check in with each other or send a fun picture of yourself. Save the rest for when he gets home.
He loves golf. You prefer needlepoint. Neither one of you is interested in the details of the other’s hobby. Your hobbies and his do deserve the other’s attention because they’re something that makes you both happy.
Commit to learning about the other’s hobbies.
No, you don’t have to ride along in a golf cart and he doesn’t need to buy a thimble for you both to show you care. You both can learn, though, so you can see and hear why those hobbies are so important to the other.
What’s even more fun? Finding a hobby that interests you both so you can enjoy it together.
Plan a Weekend Alone
Parents can easily connect when they spend some one-on-one time together. Go on a romantic getaway for the weekend or send the kids to the grandparents’ house and stay home.
Yes, you love your kids but parents need time to be together without the children around. A weekend alone can work wonders on your relationship. It not only helps you both reconnect with each other, it also refreshes you both for another round of dirty diapers, terrible tantrums and sibling spats.
Remember how you two used to hold hands while watching TV? Or how you would hug for no real reason? Of course, intimacy also includes sex but it’s the little intimate moments throughout the day that help parents connect too.
But a lot of those intimate values are lost or put on the backburner when the kids come along. Being intimate with each other, whether you’re holding hands while on a family walk or sneaking in a quickie while the kids are at school, are key to maintaining the intimacy and helping you two reconnect.
Don’t neglect the intimacy of your relationship. It’s easy to think your marriage doesn’t require intimacy to survive but it doesn’t hurt your relationship to get closer either.
Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help
If all you’re feeling is a disconnect, it may be time to seek outside help to save your relationship. Don’t be afraid to talk to your spouse about marriage counselingto decide if it’s right for you.
There’s nothing wrong with seeking outside help. Sometimes it’s the only way for parents to connect again.